Thursday, January 20, 2011

Testing Testing.... Happy Anniversary!!!!

 January 19, 2002... seems so long ago when I look at the date,  but it feels like only a few months,  crazy how things change.

We meet on the computer!  :)  After I had traveled 1/2 way around the world for three weeks a year before to meet a different guy, who, by the way, did not chop me up and put me in the freezer,  I figured meeting a guy from Holland would be safe too. 

So after 8 months we got married and jumped on a plane to Mexico.  It was blissful but I should have realized it wouldn't last...  You see,  after dinner one night, as we were walking back to our room.... we were filled with the finest food, walking hand-in-hand, savoring the wonders of newly married life,  the moon light, the warm breeze off of the Gulf of Mexico, the promise of things to come on night made just for newlyweds.....when all of a sudden my world was SHATTERED, the honeymoon was over just like that in one loud "keer-thwack"  It was OVER!!!! 

Six months later,  after a business trip,  I walked into the bedroom of the bachelor pad,  laid down by my husband and said "So, how would you like to be a Daddy?"  I think he cried more at this short sentence then when he saw me walk down the isle. (go figure) You see I was married before, and after 11 years, infertility stuff, and 1 miscarriage, I was sure that children were not going to be apart of our new union.  I was wrong!  Then he was born...what a wonderful moment when I held my newborn son, smelled that sweet breath, kissed that soft forehead... I knew then and there that if I was asked to die for him I would.  (not the route for this post but I still thought it)  anyway,  2 weeks later "keer-thwack"  Dan lost his job, down sized.  I became the main bread winner.  I had to get the baby up and out the door to be to work in Kalamazoo by 8.  The pressure was intense,  I didn't like it at all.

About 1 1/2 years or so later "keer-thwack"  another job loss, embezzlement and poor management this time.  But yet again we made it through.  He got a job, I was able to go down to part time money was coming in we were doing good again.  So we decided to move....

"Keer-thwack"  This one was a dozy!  We bought this great house in Hamilton the payments were do-able.....Dan came home from work, 2 months after we moved in, 1 1/2 years after giving birth to Benjamin.....I handed him a little box with a positive pregnancy test in it!  Life was GREAT!  Then...
1 week before we were about to deliver our new baby we got a letter from the mortgage company, sorry to inform you BUT we figured your taxes wrong and forgot to add a season, we need to redo your mortgage.  Our once "now do-able"  mortgage was now going to slowly eat away the savings account because they needed to raise our house payment to make up for the shortage.  (I didn't sign-up for this)  The baby came, I nearly died, and the bills from that mounted.  Dan had a job maybe his 3rd at this time I was able to stay home life was OK.  Then Dan lost his job AGAIN (seriously again?).  We signed up for Love Inc.  Learned the proper way to build a budget, payed off the creditors, got out of all our debt except for the mortgage.  Life was GREAT again and then Dan ca.....I will stop.  You get the idea.

The babies are now 7 and 5,  Autism, ADD, blown engine, wet basement, job loss, Crohn's, cancer scare, miscarriage....

We have been tested, a lot!  But it could be worse....I could have had cancer, we could have lost a child, foreclosure,  Dan could still be unemployed, I could be a widow, our house could have burned down..... our trials are so small.  We made it through....

"WE?"

Wrong!! We never could have made through any of that without God's guidance, mercy, and grace.  I love looking back at our 9 year journey to see...that we have never ever been without, ALL of our needs have been met, (the underwear may not be new but its underwear) he has been faithful, we have not been given anything more than we can handle.   He has never left us, never forsaken us. I don't like to be tested.  It is not fun, it hurts, it gets messy, it just plain sucks.  But without it where would I be?.....No children, living in a bachelor pad, wasting money, maybe single, alone, cold,  or stuffed in a freezer.  It is during those times of testing, that wonderful life changing, spirit shaping growth happens.  So (being very honest here) I stand sit, and say very very quietly, bring on the testing Lord!  It has been an adventure filled 9 years, and I am so thankful to travel this journey with my hand on the left being held by my Husband and the hand on my right being held by my Savior. 

By the way....that night in Mexico when the "keer-thwack" happened,  that was real and it really truly happened!!!!

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